I can't remeber why I had my hand on my face
but i remeber i was having fun.

If you could start over, would you? Some people would love to start over and others are happy just the way that thier lives are. Sometimes I look back and think to myself I wish I could be that free spirited girl who didn't care what anybody thought of her. I wish... see thats the probalem with life you grow up thinking that things are supposed to be this way and you have to act like this because everyone else does. But the truth is everyone is their own person. Everyone is beautiful. You just have stop and look inside youself and think is this who I really wanna be? Forever? For the rest of my life? The answer is simple really and its staring you right in the face. We were all made to be different. We were all made to be ourselves. God made each of us in the imagine of him. If we wanted to make us like everyone else we would have but he didn't. So why do we try to act like everyone esle? So why do we try and starve ourselves to be this perfect person ? Why are we so judgemental when it comes to people? Why are we preteding like we are perfect when really we are just as bad and mean as everyone else? Well I'll tell you why because society has made us this way, has twisted everything we once thought was beautiful and true into something so horrible it makes me sick sometimes just to think about it. They have put this image in our heads that we have to be PERFECT. We have to be skinny or we are fat. We have to be mean and  be a bitch to get what we want. We have to put makeup on globes of it so we can be hot otherwise we are ugly. We have to be tan or we are white. We have to have good abs or a good looking butt or we are not sexy. But none of that is even true. We don't need any of these things to be beautiful because we already are. Before I even knew what makeup and cute clothes were I thought I was the cutest girl. I thought that my big baggy sweatshirt with tight black pants was adorible and I thought that my bull cut was really cute and that my face was perfect.

I miss this when I didn't care what anyone thought.
And I could just be a kid.

 But then all of a sudden I started getting older and I saw magazines with tan girls who wore lots of makeup on and I though that they were naturally pretty and then I started to want to be like those girls on covers. I started to want a boyfriend I started asking for makeup because I had to be like those girls... I had to be perfect. I know now that I was completly wrong about everything about those girls about society. I should have never changed, I should have never started to lie and act mean. Just watch this video and you will see society is sick those girls were just normal people but then they edited them and made them fake.
http://youtu.be/iYhCn0jf46U






I wish that I could go back and take everything back everything I thought was real. They are just fake so the next time you see some girl on a cover of a magazine don't try and be like her because trust me you will just be wasting your time. wasting your life trying to be like everyone else. trying to be prefect like society wants us to be but you see even society had their secerts and even they are not perfect. I am not saying that all people are fake and just because they wear makeup or are skinny. I am saying don't get caught up in all the drama of life, don't get stuck in the same cyle of trying to be like everyone else because it is pointless. you are you and you shoulden't let anyone change that. You shoulden't have to change for other people you should be yourself and if they dont like who you really are then thats their loss. jealousy is one of the most powerful things it can make people do crazy things like be annerexic or put so much make up on that by the time your done they don't even now who you are anymore. Lately I have started to realize how fake people are and how they act different around every group they are in. I have reaized that you can be who you are and you dont have to wear makeup all the time and you dont have to be 100 pounds. I have realized that I have changed and I am done with all the "drama" of life. I am trying not to care what people think about me. If you hate me then you hate me if you love me then you love me. I don't wanna be fake anyone in fact I am tired of being fake I want color I wanna be real. I don't need to wear to be pretty because I realized that I was beautiful sense the day I was born. I just needed to find my way. Life is to short to worry about how skinny or hot or how much you eat because when your life is over it will not matter. The only thing that will matter is if you love. Life is beautiful if you woud just look around and soak it all up and let it all in.

no makeup here.. It was summer and I was in califormia with
my friend and family  living life up and I didn't care
what I looked like.

I sometimes look at this picture and think how redicous I look
And even though I dont like it that much i cant seem to
delete it because its me.. I am actaully being myself and actaully
carefee not a worry in the world at this moment in time.

I am not wearing any makeup in this picture... and I dont care becuase
I know I dont have to wear makeup to be pretty.