to caught up

 i am to caught up in other things that i dont really have time for whats important


like yesterday, my sister just got back from 7 weeks in europe on a missions trip and when she came back she was talking to us and saying like how she had learn that she really isnt needed and that god wants her to be here.
 but she isnt needed here. i dint really get what she was saying and i still dont but i get some of it. 


 and yesterday when i was about to go to bed.
 i thought about it and i thought about how i am like always hanging out with friend and watching tv that i really dont spend any time with god like praying with him or making him first in my life. like he should be.
 i have bin making everything else in my life be  more important then him like friends, tv and other stuff. and i relized that i have bin doing that alot to him,
 and you know i do have time that i can pray with him and read the bible but i dont. and you know why that is??


 its because i just dont want to i say i will do it later i will have time later but you know what if something happened to me.
 i would have wished i would have done that instead of doing other stuff. and i was thinknig that i dont really go to my family for stuff anymore i dont go talk to them much as i used too.
 i dont just hang out with my younger sister and take her to the park. i feel like i have drifted from my family  and i know in a way i have.




My Friends
i hang out with them so much and i hang out with like the same friends anf like yes friends are so amazing and good to have but if you put them before god.
  then god is just another thing you will get to later.
  and thats not right that not how it should be.
 

the missions trip to rapid city was so aswsome.
 i cryed thhe last day we were there when we got our feet washed and at that moment i reilized that on that trip i was not myself and i was to busy trying to fix my hair or get someone attention that i dint really know anymore.
 i dint know who i was. and i knew that was not me that that moment and my eyes where open to everything that i had missed.
 all the little things that no one really looked that because they were to busy. and i felt so bad becuase i knew i was one of those poeple who just looked at the big things and not the little things. 
 i still dont really know who i am.. but i got a idea of who i am saposed to be from the missions trip.


i cant really say that i know who i am or what i want to be or what i am doing here. but i can say that  i am here for a reason and last night i figured out what my sister was saying. i dont know why but i know i am here because god wants me to be here not beucase i need to be but because he wants me to be here. i still dont know who i am i wish i did but i dont. all i know is that i am here beucase god has a plan and a purpuse for me.